


Denial (Hotch and Reader)

by mrshadeelgibson



Series: Aaron Hotchner/David Rossi One-Shots [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Love, Love Confessions, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:54:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29979738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrshadeelgibson/pseuds/mrshadeelgibson
Summary: Reader comes to terms with how she feels about Hotch after denying her feelings for so long
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Reader
Series: Aaron Hotchner/David Rossi One-Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2205246
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Denial (Hotch and Reader)

There I was, on the roof of my god-knows-how-many story apartment, in the middle of the night, with just a light blanket, the moon, and my thoughts to keep me company. Thoughts of who, you might ask? Thoughts of a certain somebody by the name of Aaron Hotchner. Yes, THE SSA Aaron Hotchner, the very same one that I have been working with for a few years now. From the moment that I walked into his office and laid eyes on him, I knew that I was head over heels with him. And yet, I tried to keep pushing those thoughts away, because I knew that he was my boss and that being in love with him was a very bad idea and would not get me anywhere, not to mention Strauss would have my head on a stick if she ever knew about my feelings. I've kept on pushing and denying my strong feelings for such a long time now, that I've very nearly managed to convince myself that I don't love him or care for him anymore. I laugh out loud to myself and say to the moon, "I, (Y/N), do NOT have feelings for Aaron anymore, nope, nope, no sirree I do NOT." I continue to laugh into the nighttime air, as if this will help seal the deal. Thoughts of him flit yet again through my mind, how he often sneaks looks at me when he doesn't think I'm looking, those "accidental" moments where he touches or bumps into me, how he tries so hard to be professional and keep up his facade when talking to me. But I can tell. He's been trying to do exactly what I have been doing to myself, pushing away thoughts, and denying, denying, denying those feelings that are so evident whenever he looks at me. He and I both are tearing ourselves up inside doing this.

My laughing soon turns to sobbing, as I tell myself aloud, "Who am I kidding? I love him and will continue to love him, every part of him. His protectiveness, how he's such a great father to Jack, how he cares so much for his team, how he knows all the little quirks about them, how sometimes he knows just what to say, the way he laughs and smiles, on those rare occasions, and how it brightens up the whole room. Even the part of him that showed itself those late nights that we would spent together in his office, at his home, when he would open up to me and admit to me that he sometimes is weak and is afraid to show it. How, if I was late, he would call and see what was wrong, or if I didn't show up one day, how he would come to my apartment and see why I didn't come and how we would sit next to each other on the couch, and how he would put his arm around me, and how he would simply let me talk until I got whatever it was off my chest- ", my sobs become so heavy and intense, that I start gasping for air. Fuck, I can't do this anymore, my feelings for him have become too strong to deny anymore.

I scream into the air, "I can't fucking do this anymore Aaron, I just fucking can't. I fucking love you ok, I love you more than life itself, I need you more than I need my next breath, I need you, I need you, I NEED YOU!!!"  
While pouring out my emotions loudly, I don't hear or notice footsteps coming up the stairs, the roof door opening and closing, and someone quietly watching me.  
It's then, once I grow quiet, that I finally become aware of a presence other than myself on my apartment roof. As I slowly turn around to see who it is, I keep one hand on my gun, just in case. My eyes scan the rooftop, and don't notice anything at first, until I hear a familiar voice say, "Hey, (Y/N)"  
I slide my hand away from my gun and try not to look like a fish gasping for air, as I look at the subject of my many thoughts, Aaron Hotchner.  
"H-h-h-how long were you w-w-w-watching me-e?", I stutter nervously  
He walks closer to me, and puts his hand on my face, and says, "Long enough."  
My face becomes warm from embarrassment.  
This whole time, I was facing the ground, but now have summed up the courage to look up and look at him.  
He smiles knowingly, takes my hand, and leads me back to where I was sitting before I knew he was here.  
We both sit down on the blanket.  
Quietness fills the air for a few minutes, before he asks, quietly, "So, is it true?"  
"Is what true?", I quietly say back, knowing what he will ask  
"Do you love me?", he asks, leaning in close to me  
His scent overwhelms my senses.  
Instead of answering, I turn to him, lean in, and kiss him with all the love that cannot be expressed with mere words.  
He sits, shell-shocked, emotions and feelings waging a battle inside of him.  
"Fuck it", he whispers, "I can't do this anymore either."

"You can try to resist, try to hide from my kiss, but you know, you know that you  
Can't fight the moonlight. Deep in the dark  
You'll surrender your heart  
But you know  
But you know that you can't fight the moonlight  
No, you can't fight it  
It's gonna get to your heart."  
He lays me down on the blanket, lies down beside me, turns us towards each other, pulls me closer, and kisses me fiercely, but gently at the same time. His lips move down my neck and a moan slips out of my mouth as he lightly bites me.  
"You drive me crazy", he whispers to me  
"Me too", I whisper back, caressing his arm  
"Then let's drive each other crazy until we can't anymore", he says, pulling me closer and kissing me senseless.  
"Let's make love, right here, on this rooftop, until the sun rises", I say to him between breathless kisses  
He smiles wickedly at me, and from that moment on, each and every day, he makes sure that the only thought on my mind is him, no matter where I am, what I'm doing, or who I'm with.  
He's my love, my life, my world, he's my Aaron❤️ and I'll never let him go for anything or anyone for any reason. Ever. And that's a promise❤️


End file.
